Jehovah is My Stay

Love and prayers for Brianne K. and family.

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Icy shards of grief
Pricking, piercing unprotected love
When Memory opens accidentally on Now.
I long to cry, but cannot find the tears;
I want to laugh, but can't remember how.

I do not understand.

A wall springs up within a crowd:
Those who know, from those who know no pain;
Averted eyes, a stifled glance, a Red Sea dance
Around me in the hall. The silence of the shroud, preceding me,
Surrounding me, buried
To the world.

I cannot understand.

Living seems the hardest thing of all--
Eating, sleeping, breathing
With Sorrow settled mocking on my shoulder.
If I could only wilt, or fade away, and
Die--
But I am left alive,
To see the world in shades of gray, and wonder--

Why? I will not understand.


But You are still my Counselor, the One
Who takes my hands and leads me when I stumble,
Blinded, up a mountain paved with stones that bruise my heels.

And You are still the Mighty God, the One
Who died, and makes the dead alive,
The end and the Beginning.

My Everlasting Father,
Teaching me to walk again,
Hidden underneath Your wings.

The Prince of Peace,
Who cares for me, and gives me rest,
and guards my heart.

You are Jesus. I stand within
The cleft of Your hand, and see
A nail-shaped scar--
I weep, and laugh, but do not understand.

When I am weak and sad, I cling to this: that
You, Oh God, are strong. And You, Oh God, are loving.