Don't talk to me....until I've had my coffee

I admit it: I have a drinking problem. I imbibe far more of the brew known commonly as "joe," "liquid sleep," or "coffee" than I probably should.

Both my parents drink coffee. I remember at a young age carrying my dad's cup to him and being rewarded with a sip. So began a life-long love affair.

My dad told me I couldn't drink coffee, because it would stunt my growth. I stayed away from it until I was about 16 on that principle, and then decided I wasn't going to grow much more anyway. Of course, it could be true: if I had consumed coffee before I was 12 I might not have reached my full five feet and two inches.

I was not really supposed to drink coffee until I was 18. The problem with this was that I started working at the donut shop when I was 15-- early mornings, the smell of donuts, and as much coffee as I could drink. All this added up to an unofficial cup every once in awhile.
But my dad had told me I didn't really like the coffee, just the cream and sugar in it. So when I did start drinking, I took it straight black, since I am a good-natured person who would never try to prove something... or not.

My coffee problem only grew when I went to college. The biggest problem with it was that the dining hall coffee was almost undrinkable. You know how the south had to use substitutes during the Civil War? Well, I think some places in Virginia never went back to the real stuff. This "coffee" had the deep, rich vibrancy of tar. But, as one of my classmates pointed out, the coffee improved with desperation.

If a person added a packet of hot cocoa mix and 3-6 flavored creamers, and then held her breath and gulped, it would go down and keep her awake. And if she didn't have time for a cup of...that, a serving of chocolate-covered espresso beans was also very effective. How big is a serving, anyway?

I had a roommate who was rather sensitive on the issue of coffee. I'm not sure why, but she decided to make it her mission in life to rid the earth of it. She (fruitlessly) spent four years of her life trying to save me from the vile black brew. Her ceremonial speech in rhetoric blamed it for the evils that plague mankind, and used me as an example of what it can do to a person.
Of course, I spent four years (of which I have not yet seen fruit) trying to convince her that coffee was really wonderful, and she really didn't want me to stop drinking it.

I did try to give it up recently. I had decided it was not good for me to be dependent on any material or liquid thing for happiness. And I had noticed that I have these funny things called mood swings that I have to be careful about displaying around the general public so they don't get worried. I also have to be careful about displaying them around my family, because they don't get worried, whatever else they may get.

Anyway, I had been cutting back on the amount of coffee I consumed, and decided I could go without it for a whole day, and I did.

But I took up coffee drinking again the next day, by popular demand of those who had to be around me.

I have often wondered who was the first person to look at a coffee bean and say, "I think I'll grind that up and boil it and drink whatever comes out." Someone told me recently it was a priest who noticed that a flock of goats were friskier after chewing the berry and decided it might help him to stay alert for worship. That sounds like a good idea.

I think I heard somewhere that drinking coffee can help prevent diabetes. That has the ring of truth to it, if you ask me. I know it is America's top source of antioxidants (isn't it?), which are something that everyone needs, although I'm not entirely sure what they do. Chocolate, I hear, also has antioxidants in it. What a coincidence that they go so well together!

Who said that we should practice "moderation in everything?" Maybe it was me. But even if it wasn't, I think it's a good idea, whether it's drinking coffee or working or sleeping. Balance is something I should continue to seek.

And in the meantime, maybe I'll put on another pot.