Money, Money, Money

TEFL certification/visa/plane ticket to Bologna: $2,000 (well, okay, so I'm rounding and don't have the exact figures, but it's something like that).

Living in Italy: $3,000 (per month)

Obeying God's call to share His love with the Italians: priceless.

Yes, I have passed the grueling trial and have been appointed a missionary. Now I get to begin the really grueling part: raising support. If only I would get a letter in the mail saying that someone was supporting me for my whole amount without me even having to tell them about it. That would be so much easier. But no. I have to ask.

Why is this so hard for me? I have a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with my Tocquevillian independent-American-young-woman streak, that wants to be self-reliant and never need nothin' from nobody. And work ethic is a good thing. But the pride that never wants to ask for help is definitely not good--it's what makes me try to be good enough to please God. I can't live as a Christian by myself--I have to ask for God's mercy and grace not only for salvation, but for everyday life. Neither can I go serve Him by myself. I need His strength, and I need the support of others in the church, even (gulp) financial support.

It helps to think of it as asking others to give to the Lord, and me trusting Him for it, but I'm still the one who has to take the initiative. And it helps a lot more when I think of It--I am very ready to love It, but I have to get there first. Lots of people are probably still wondering why there? But besides the obvious cultural draws (Ferraris, you know), Italy really needs Jesus. Less than 1% of the population are evangelical Christians. Most of them are trying to work their way to heaven, and don't know about God's wonderful grace. Please pray that my heart will be broken over their lostness as His is. And pray that I will have the silly little courage to ask people for support.

And if I possibly happen to ask you--please know that it's ok to say no and don't go hide around a corner when you see me coming. I'll love you anyway.

"Italy, we're gonna love you forever..."