Apostrophes addressed To My Native Tongue

Oh, English, English! Let us whale thee for a wile.

Let us morn thy native speaker's ignorance of other language's (morn).

Let us morn thy native speakers ignorance of there own (morn.)

Let us morn the fall of thy adverbs into jectives, thereby losing there ly and thus becoming real and quick dead.

Behold the heights from witch thou hast fallen! Let us morn thy native speaker's inability too speak there own tongue in a meaningful way, and consequent decline into the bottomless pit of cliche, from witch there is no return, to be never heard from again. Morn, ye peoples! Morn, ye alphabet soup! Morn, yonder son rising in the east!

Let us morn thy native speakers inability to use thy vocabulary. Let us morn the fact that we must weight, too here thine own beautiful words, like "facilitate," from the lips of a foreigner.

Let us morn thy native speakers fear of punctuation and disregard for the laws governing it, the fact that they cannot tell the difference between a colon and semi-colon, accept that they never use the ladder for fear of being wrong, let us bewhale the use of quotation marks for emphasis, the sprinkling of comma's wearever they are not sure or need a breath, and, oh, apostrophe's! You are dying, you are dying, you are all of you dying.

Let us morn thy native speaker's inability to put together a grammatical sentence. Like school superintendent's who say someone is committed "in" something instead of "to" it in written statements. People are only committed "in""to" asylums. Morn, dictionarie's with no one to read thee! Morn, libraries', waistlands with no inhabitants! Morn, linguist's with no subject!

Morn, noon, and night!